Achievements & success are overrated

The goal of all endeavours should be our happiness, peace and satisfaction. It comes from doing what we are good at and what we enjoy doing. Any achievement which happens is just a by product and not the purpose. But the majority of people are striving to be successful in the eyes of their peers and society. A vain drive & struggle to make efforts towards a superficial aim to boost our false ego. You dont have to succeed at everything that you do, the only thing that matters is readiness to try new things for the purpose of learning. Nobody knows for sure when but if you keep trying things that make you happy then you will end discovering what you are best & natural at. In fact, I believe you will have abundance of what you seek now, unknowingly, that you d want to share it with anybody who needs it.

All I see around me is tremendous pressure to excel to win recognition for your efforts and gain some benefit from it. Everybody constantly wants more and more, without knowing what to do with what you are already gathering. It only results in fear, grief and anxiety in your heart & mind. Everyone so readily compromises with their mental health to achieve trivial and ephemeral goals. I will illustrate an example which has been the most conventional and orthodox (in my opinion) norm. If you can afford Rs.20,000/- to buy a watch then nobody settles for a watch worth 5-6 thousand. Suddenly it becomes very difficult to find something in your taste and style in a reduced budget. In fact it seems only natural to be driven towards watches that are priced much above. I have even seen people take pride in having expensive taste. Though I keep wondering what exactly does it contribute to or what purpose will it ultimately solve. You will only want more and in few years you will aim to buy a more expensive watch. Nobody aims to get something of lesser value as their second buy, as it would somehow mean that your status or choice has become low. You’d worry that others will think, you cant afford better things anymore. The same goes for most things that we buy like a house, car, smartphone, etc. going way beyond our needs into the never ending realm of desires & wishes. In order to fulfil them you want to earn more and more.

If only anyone can realise this then the extra that you save can be utilised to gift something to your dear ones. You can even expand your horizon by gifting somebody you think deserves or needs. There are so many opportunities to contribute to the needs & happiness of people around you.

I have often seen that if a person is good at say painting, singing or a sport then each and everyone around starts advocating to pursue it as a career or aim for a higher ambition in that. The moment such vain ambition seeps into the mind of the one with the talent, its the tragic & untimely death of the free spirited expression and the contentment it was yielding. Its become a chore for which you & others keep evaluating your self and comparing with those who are better than you. Soon you have all the anxieties and complex which you didn't have when you begun. 

Its so common to see people wanting to befriend those who are more successful and avoid those who havent achieved much. I dont see any harm in wanting to learn from people who are better than you at a particular skill or position but I dont condone ignoring or belittling those who are not as good as you are. As it will only lead to chaos and imbalance of nature. Why would those above you pay you any heed if you yourself are ignoring those below you in any strata. 

Its not all that important to aim for promotion in all spheres of life and specially ones with monetary gains. As long as you are happy doing what you do and you have discovered what you are good at. As long as you get time to spend with your loved ones and some time to help others (friends, relatives or strangers). If you are not satisfied with what you already have then you will never find any peace when you get more. The peace & satisfaction is always in the present moment, if at all there is any. Its in your outlook & perspective of life, people and things around. 

Believe me you don't have to rush anywhere to fulfil your fundamental needs. As you have everything that you need or its already on its way to you. If you need it and if you deserve it then it will be yours. You just have to fully accept yourself in your eyes and stop paying any heed to others opinion. People who hate weekends for they love their work or who live for weekends so they can enjoy their life, are both equally miserable. As they are not in acceptance of whats natural and are driven by fake ambitions and purposes. Its okay to fail, its okay to not succeed or be less successful than others. You can enjoy the most mundane activities like dusting or washing clothes, utensils, etc. Do not trap your happiness in only certain activities deemed by others to be fun and worthwhile.  Everything else is an elaborate hoax. 

Without a closure its meaningless but so it is, even after that!

There is no meaning to any activity without a closure. Its rendered useless without reaching the eventual purpose. I, you and everyone else seek the means to an end in our every pursuit and the most mundane involvement or participation. Imagine no salary at month’s end in a job or a mystery novel without its climax . A musician working on a piece without completion or an artist unable to complete a painting. A meal that doesnt get over or satiates hunger, drinking water without thirst or worse water unable to quench thirst. A never ending day or night that has no morning. Winters that dont lead to summers or vice versa. Even during meditation if you dont reach the recess in your inner depth then you struggle within, if you cannot park your mind their for just one moment then you crave for this closure.  

Everything is running in a cycle but it has to reach closure, its inevitable and a must. If it weren't so then we’ll all be too hopeless and disoriented. Every day work hours have to end so we can rest and the rest too shall end so we can work again. Same goes for the best of parties one can attend. How else do we find or give it a justifiable comprehension, we wont be able to relate without finding the final point. The most fascinating trek has to come back to its start point, sky diving or river rafting, all these exciting activities will just become a never ending horror without reaching their last point. There is no road trip or train/flight journey without a destination. We may or may not get back to square one every time but still there is somewhere to be reached and that is its closure point. 

How can anyone be in love with a person whom you could never express and now that person has gone beyond your reach? They might have left the locality, city or even country and you dont know how to trace them. The memory will eventually fade away. Even if you have earned enough in your life or at least more than you ever require, then too you wont find a closure in binge spending or continuous frivolity. We cant ever do enough to conclude for all times, we have to stop somewhere and then start somewhere again. Its a tedious and vicious circle. 

Clearly the only closure to life is death. They are inseparable companions, two sides of same coin, like day & night, winters & summers. But there’s got to be more to life than death. Or can we deny the fact that the weakest & strongest, sickest & healthiest, richest & poorest, sane & insane, ruler & ruled, all reach the same end. No discrimination or difference. Except for the repetition of same activities and/or trying new ones every now & then, is there really anthing more to our lives? Is there anything sustainable, meaning thats not rendered futile with age & time? There is so much we do just out of pressure of family, society and our peers. Its not necessarily bad but have they ever questioned or tried to break out of this cycle. So even if you find closure to many activities daily they still turn around every time. 

When I see people around, they all seem pretending without realising, seeking thrill, faking expressions & emotion without reaching their depth or maximum intensity, doing most things without actually knowing why, going about every day like a machine. Its rare to find anybody truly alive, anyone with eyes full of life, with acceptance without question, complete harmony with nature, with no attachment or aversion, or fully involved in self less acts. I know its sounds hypothetical but somewhere deep in my heart i believe its possible.

I am seeking a closure to my life before my time ends and my life expires. I dont want to accept death as my ultimate fate. Anybody who doesn't believe in fate is a liar, as we all know that death will come to us all at last. Its undeniable and inevitable. Clearly just earning a living, taking care of a family, raising children so on and so forth, is the most common regime of mankind across the globe. I am yet to meet anybody who has found a closure by doing just that. So I choose to seek by other means. May be I will find or may be not? I will know that I tried. 

Everybody lives in their own imaginary world

We have a incessant construction going on in our head. The world we keep building and modifying within. We keep picking elements knowingly and unknowingly, on a subconscious level. Hence losing our purity and innocence in the process. As no matter what the reality is, we make a world for ourselves based on our prior experience, exposure and mindset. There is no neutrality only biased view point. We constantly pick likes & dislikes, cool & not cool, tasteful & not, new or repetitive, etc. After collecting all these fragments every moment, we have what is generally referred to as outlook, viewpoint or even attitude towards things. Generally, most of our upbringing is focused on materialistic values as in studying, career and jobs/profession/business with occasional drift here & there towards values of life. In our schools moral science is looked upon as an extra subject and hardly anyone pats your back if you score well or highest in it. What is the broader aim of life, what kind of person should you be, righteousness & helping/contributing others as well society; all these questions are debatable and based on personal choices. Our personal gains always take the precedence. Though everyone vouches for success and appreciates successful people. In this race people take shortcuts and not so legitimate means at times.  

Where exactly are we heading? What is the end purpose of our various pursuits? Certainly, it should be more than ending up in a funeral pyre or grave. Irrespective of anything and everything we all do end up there eventually. Is it to lead `a happy life’ for us and our dear ones? What exactly is `a happy life’? We don’t draw satisfaction from the same activity or achievement in the same level at every given point. But nobody lets any such realization dawn upon them fully before they have moved on to searching for something new & next. Thankfully, sooner or later life serves us and shows us new possibilities, to what ends.

So based on our living and the imaginary world we have created within us, there is a sort of code of conduct we have formed for our individual self. We adhere to it fully and partially as & when it suits. Nobody really questions you for that; its for your eyes only. As there are many unanswered, unsolved, inexplicable instances in our imaginary world. There are many conflicts there everyday which nobody can see and nobody can judge you for. We can be whoever we desire in our world, we can cheat, rush and skip any rules. Thankfully scientists have not been able to create a device to picturize what goes on in one’s head, it certainly wouldn’t be ‘a happy film about a happy life’. We rise and fall in our eyes, in our world all the time. Some people luckily find others in front of whom they can open up completely and reveal to a great extent the actual happenings of our private world. But its hard to find the same frequency with another person all the time as even that person has their own world to manage.

People like to gather for events, parties, get together, etc. who have this common reception of various degrees for a certain activity. Or they are trying to seek similar worlds in others head unknowingly. Much like our quest to find water on other planets. If we are successful in such an attempt it makes for ‘a happy day or event in our happy life’. Books, movies, television and live show are often a binding agent when our connection gets weak with reality and its hard to pick anything from it. These mediums further provide imagination for our imaginary world. Its like dreaming in a dream.

In the end its still not very clear what exactly are we seeking, how to hold on to what we have found and where will we find more. Our ‘pursuit of happiness’ seems frivolous and yielding only fleeting success. Do we really know and understand what to strive for and how? Is there something everlasting at all?

I hope for now, every now and then, if we just step aside our imaginary world or come out of it then new & true possibilities can emerge. There can be sliver of harmony amongst us, our peers, our society & country and above all with nature.

Accept and respect

These are two simple and common words which are very easy to understand. There is no complexity and broader meaning here. Yet its something very difficult to come across. You see difficulty in accepting one’s circumstances or the people around. As long as there is power and strength, it is put to use to make changes. Its not always necessary and sometimes letting things be as they are, let people be how they want to be, is the best course. But more often then not we fail to judge and discriminate that. The chances of people hurting other people is very high when they cant respect other person’s space/privacy or cannot accept their way of life/freedom of choices. As long as they are not intersecting, which they don't in most cases. Its very common to see remorse in these cases where one has failed to changed things or in another words failed to accept things. The struggle a person goes through with an imaginary vision and forgets reality for the sake of it. It is very sad and I often fail to feel compassion here. 

I think its the lack of respect that brings it down. Its not respect for something or somebody specific. It may have its root in self-respect but that is something to ponder. To look at the true beauty of life without any facade comes by respecting it for what it is and accepting it as it is. We can claim and advocate all we want about things we have done and achieved but its doesn't change a myriad facts where accepting things willingly or unwillingly was the forced choice. How is it fair to keep a narrow perspective and being desperate to see & bend things in one direction. There are always many possible outcomes of any given situation, we wont know/control them all. 

I have experienced that if you can focus on this forced choice we may have had to accept at some point and start respecting then things can take a beautiful turn. Its the denial which is the only hindrance. If something that might be a weakness from a general point of view, its not necessary that we cannot develop from there. Your weakness can become your strength or your speciality. Its the attitude that makes all the difference. Everybody in class cannot be number one but if everybody is hoping to get there then disappointment will be obvious. The learning is more important than the position. The knowledge will take you more places than the vainglory every will. If our inspiration is put in a wrong figure, a place that’s misfit for us then misery is all we can expect. We are humans and bound to do errors, circumstantial or deliberate, doesn't matter. What matters is what we can make of the aftermath. There will always be accidents and confrontations, but the direction we can take the results is what defines us and the life to come. 

I once met a man who told me that his only, grown up and working son had been shot to death, as in murdered. He desperately wanted to blame somebody but didn't know who. It had been a while, the police case was old and unsolved. He told me that he lost his faith in god which I found highly irrelevant. If God is supposedly some entity that gives and takes everything, then it was his to take what he had given. How does it help the dead to cry and seek revenge even after years. However I did tell him that his son might have made some strong enemies but he denies that saying he was always friendly with everyone. Now the question that strikes here is that do we always know a person as well as we believe, no matter how close, are we in a position to ever judge or decide. The son had a life span and it got over when it had to. Who can challenge this reality, will it be any different if the son had died in a road accident, flood, earthquake or other many such unforeseen events. 

Just imagine if there is toddler in your family and is hurt by something or is simply unwell/sick which needs medical attention. Now will it be of any help to be sad/depressed/worried about it, I have seen people even cry, or focus on the best course of help and attention you can provide. Even then results might not be as positive as you want them to be or as quick as you want them to be. You have to accept it’s not in your hands and every one cannot be healthy/well all the time. Things will always change and you have to learn to accept & respect them as they are. Only then you can be contributive, productive and conducive for any betterment. Struggle will only lead to trouble. 

Its good to define & recognise your individuality but if you want to be respected for who you are then you have to equally regard others’. We want to do things in a certain manner we find best but sometimes its good to try willingly what is expected from us or suggested just for the respect of others. There is no harm in it. There is no place for ego here. Where there is love then there will be respect & acceptance. Its worth trying at least.  

Multitude to singularity

You can only taste one dish at a time, enjoy one song at a time, cherish one scenery at a time, fully be with one person at a time. We do like many things of multitude tastes and preferences but only enjoy one at a time. Even if you try to eat your favorite food while watching your favorite television series, try to observe sharply that the moment your focus moves to the screen the taste vanishes and the moment you are engulfed in the taste in your mouth you lose the context of the display on screen. But the shuffle happens very fast for us to bother much about it. As it doesnt seem important to focus on one thing at a time. You can try to understand this with a more specific example like listening to two of your favorite songs at one time, wouldnt that be absurd! 

We might have a zillion choices of things that we like, for instance clothes, shoes, bags, food, music, places, people, etc. but at a given point we prefer only one from each category. We always seek this singularity of things around us. It brings us together, its a more wholesome experience. One can casually do any thing but what really makes it perfect is when something you like can completely bind your focus genuinely. Whichever person, thing or place can do it for longest period becomes our favorite. If it was one time or very occasionally then it forms our favorite memory. Basically even if you cant help it to happen again, you want to live it again in your mind as everything felt just right in that moment. It is why you hear often people say live in the moment or live for the moment. As there are only fragments like these which keeps everything going or seem worthwhile. 

If somebody hasnt found this singularity in a long time then meeting that one special person when everything seems to come together for you, holds the most special/important position in your life. You can experience this special moment anywhere and anyhow. Many of its triggers are common for many and unique in other cases. You might have most things going but then eventually it starts getting mundane or monotonous, then going for a holiday to a new place or somewhere you havent been in a long time, gives you the solitude or singularity of your mind. 

Its our inherent nature to be at one place at a time and do one thing at a time, though external factors often take it away from us and life becomes a drag before you know it. In most cases mental fatigue seeps in faster than you know. Our being/existence seems spread over in so many places that getting to collect ourselves or to feel wholesome again becomes an ordeal to achieve. We are in this struggle always whether we know it or not or accept it or not.

You are going about your everyday life and a random long drive with a close friend/relative gives a relief, trying a new restaurant and new food can do it for some, a long waited concert / show can bring it for some. You cant really predict in advance when or what exactly will give you this moment of singularity next time. But we crave for it and live for it everyday waiting subconsciously. 

There is another very easy to comprehend example for this phenomenon, love at first sight or your first crush. The glee you felt or the constant grin which everyone questioned but you couldnt explain. There comes  sudden joy in everything you see or do. Many/most of us have experienced at least one such phase in our lives. 

Now comes the part we do not realize even after going through all this for decades. We like or love multitude of things but its the singularity that gets us thriving. The source of this singularity is always dependent outside on some external factor. As long as you are healthy, capable or well off to afford, its not an issue but things are not always easy or accessible for every common man. We start to age so rapidly without even realizing what/when/how it happened. As inevitably things change or dont last, we dont get the same joy/fun doing the same things, our taste & preferences change. We cant hold onto things in their same form forever. Everything has to vanish eventually, its the beauty of the end.

There is corner in our heart which is unexplored by our conscious mind, untouched by anything or anybody. Its resemblance or glimpse has been experienced by us through many instances or factors, but its identity is still a mystery just like its existence. But the first and foremost thing is acknowledging that its their even as a belief. As nothing is more reliable in this world than you to yourself. You will always be there for you come what may, wherever you are and in whatever condition. In the beginning its like diving into the ocean of your mind looking for this one small pearl, you dont know how deep its lying and in which corner. Though believe me it shines so bright that even from a long distance you start experiencing its glimmer which is your only hope. Suddenly you will know to have this lamp which might not shine fully the whole dark forest but at least the space two feet around you. This is enough to start walking as the more you move, the more light shines with you to clear your surrounding in this journey within. Once you reach there you will never have to look elsewhere to feel alive, wholesome and satisfied. You will be truely liberated, free, fearless and independent.

This kind of voyage is undertaken by very few adventurous people who strive to increase their moment of singularity after having identified it through one’s own life’s experiences. You can spend many many years in the multitude of things and there will still be zillion things left to explore or discover but to what ends.