I am standing at a t-junction and dont know where to move. But I actually feel like leaving it on fate this time. I have tried always but never realized that its never in our hands. We all think or feel proud for smallest success and blame others if anything goes wrong. Everone around is down right selfish as they are all governed by either basic instincts or chasing the satisfaction of senses. Quite strnage that I am idle yet calm. There is a weird restlessness but its not actually bothering. I have been alone for six days doing nothing, just letting life pass by.
I dont have any particular aim in life at this juncture as there is no ambition or deream to chase. I am just letting life pass by. Evertually the only feeling that I have tried to chase always seems important. That is to be able to self-lessly help others. I tried to please others but myself and I am sure now that you cant keep everyone pleased all the time & you gotta be happy yourself before you begin. There are a zillion things that I got in life already for which I am eternally gratefull to GOD. Yeah it actually feels that I have done, had or experienced all to my heart's content. There is no hunger anymore, no thirst to quench. Just curiosity to know the reality, the truth behind everything. Those who talk to me think either I am sad, lost, unhappy or depressed, noone sees that I am calm & I am still. (Are you too blind to see or is it so difficult to accept?)
I want to do something genuinly good for all those I came across in 25 years. To set everyone free of their misery, prejudice, boundations & blocks. To give free will, acceptance, courage, wisdom & true happiness.
I am no thinker or philosopher but why do I feel that people around need me al lthe time. They want to told, heard, held, guided, shared, comforted, treated like a child, pampered.................
Everyone I have come across, friends, family, relatives, acquaintance, strangers, seem to be searching for tham someone (but they dont knwo it). If you tell them they pucker in their shell. And if you be there just like that they easily succumb.
I sincerely pray to god that if what I feel is not just my frenzy & has any wisdom then give me knowledge & strength to accomplish it.
To give peace, love, empathy & the real truth.