The most intense form of sensory pleasure that we humans can experience is having sex. It engages all our five senses and mind at the same time. There is no other feeling more overwhelming than the contentment drawn from this act. The only catch is you need another person to fully enjoy it, participate with, similar mood and attraction. We like to share something we enjoy most by default with the person closest or most important to us, namely our spouse/lover. But doing an activity together doesnt make it an expression of your love.
Its ironic that the person you start having physical relations with suddenly holds paramount importance in your life. We go all out for them, even out of our way to please them. I have observed to the extent that people behave out of character, go below self-esteem to win the appreciation of their desired one. Even though our family members are the first ones to take care of us in myriad selfless ways but our sexual partner gets all the privileges and priority.
Whoever coined the phrase 'making love' surely did so in throes of passion of carnal desires. As it means two people having sex and it has nothing to do with love. If its actually love then why is it restricted to just one relationship at a time. It doesn't extend to everybody you claim to love in your life. How do you differentiate between love in your various relations? We obviously claim to love our friends, relatives, family without a hint of sexuality. Our society allows us to have multiple platonic relations with members of opposite gender but directs us for only one sexual relation at a time and should not include family members (incest), as polygamy and incest may have disrupting & corrupting effects and implications. There can be a chaos of jealousy, dominance and possessiveness. Many a crimes have been known as a result of a person not able to tame their sexual desires and fantasies. They use any foul means possible to achieve its fulfillment like taking advantage of helplessness or forcing themselves on others.
How does act of copulation depict an expression of love? We dont express it to everyone we love and nor do we harbor the fantasy of expressing it. At times when we cross the taboo line of being sexual with someone we are not supposed to. Its very common for people to hide it to great lengths, when they fail to do so life becomes miserable. As the guilt burdens them incessantly. Yet occurrence of such weakness is fairly well known and common to us humans.
Sex is pure lust and its an animal instinct in us like many others. As most animals dont differentiate while choosing their mating partner. I suppose labeling it to be lust is belittlement for some people. As lust may be seen as something degraded and uncivilized where as an act of love is all pious (pun intended). The purpose of sex is simply procreation and not recreation. If we claim it to be a right given by nature to exercise & exploit then why use artificial means of contraception available today. As earth would be bursting with human population without control.
I often find it very funny to observe that most couples when go for social purpose, dress up there best. Many a times you can find women dressed in a very provocative and revealing manner even when casually stepping out. But then everybody has there own definitions these days. If those women are already with their partners (lovers and spouses) then they have no reason to attract more attention to their physical beauty. Isnt the whole idea of looking sexually desirable meant for your partner’s eyes only? They shouldnt have any motive to look enticing in least manner. Yet you see everyone proud to flaunt the looks of their companion and often gift fancy attire to highlight it. They would try to look as attractive as possible and go at lengths by spending time, money & energy to achieve the effect. In case of singles its very well understandable but for the rest of them, its beyond thinkable for my feeble mind. You find profile pictures and photo ablums on various social media where people are deliberately posing dressed up in a way only your spouse/lover should see you. But as long as its not nightwear/lingerie, its accepted as normal. Some even say, if you have it then why not flaunt it.
Its normal and natural for adults to engage in sex with consent of your partner. I always advise couples to only do so at rare occasions. Its a beautiful experience to share. But if something is worth cherishing and easily accessible then we tend to over do it. Excess of everything will render it without charm. You can use that time to spend quality time with your beloved in various other ways. Its just like cutting cake on your birthday and anniversary. Its something meant for special occasions only. Doing it often will ultimately make one of the partner lose interest? It can get very difficult when only one of you is in the mood. The frequency of sex with your partner is not a parameter of love for that person. Once you have done it enough for few years then the sex life becomes pale and dull. Lack of sexual excitement with your partner becomes a major reason of failing relations, falling marriages and then they seek to spice things up in any which way. Even after a quarrel or differences, couples seek to make up with sex for reassurance. Its just the opposite approach of what should be. If you maintain a decent gap then such loss wouldnt happen in the first place. If you see the same scenery for few years then it becomes boring. Similarly couples while engaging into copulation with full lights on or during day time are prone to lose interest in each other very easily. As after a while the same body having repeatedly seen, doesnt arouse desires. They feel helpless as sexual needs are still there but the lack of gratification makes them wander mentally.
Anger and lust are form of same force within us. When under influence we tend to forgo everything important around us. Where anger always leads to devastating effects, lust when unchained & unchartered can lead to worse havocs. Just like anger needs to be managed and controlled, so is lust. Both being natural impulses doesnt mean we can or should express it as and when we desire. The one who can fathom this and rise above both can achieve unthinkable heights.
Celibacy is a way of life for rare few on earth. People of different cultures, countries, civilizations have observed great benefits of it at different era of time. But its value has been universally acknowledged. Sportsmen, scholars, researchers, scientists, philosophers, thinkers and spiritualpractitioners stress upon abstaining from sex to conserve our physical, mental and psychic energies. Such energy can then be utilized anywhere we focus it. After all its this energy that leads to creation of another life like us.