Accept and respect

These are two simple and common words which are very easy to understand. There is no complexity and broader meaning here. Yet its something very difficult to come across. You see difficulty in accepting one’s circumstances or the people around. As long as there is power and strength, it is put to use to make changes. Its not always necessary and sometimes letting things be as they are, let people be how they want to be, is the best course. But more often then not we fail to judge and discriminate that. The chances of people hurting other people is very high when they cant respect other person’s space/privacy or cannot accept their way of life/freedom of choices. As long as they are not intersecting, which they don't in most cases. Its very common to see remorse in these cases where one has failed to changed things or in another words failed to accept things. The struggle a person goes through with an imaginary vision and forgets reality for the sake of it. It is very sad and I often fail to feel compassion here. 

I think its the lack of respect that brings it down. Its not respect for something or somebody specific. It may have its root in self-respect but that is something to ponder. To look at the true beauty of life without any facade comes by respecting it for what it is and accepting it as it is. We can claim and advocate all we want about things we have done and achieved but its doesn't change a myriad facts where accepting things willingly or unwillingly was the forced choice. How is it fair to keep a narrow perspective and being desperate to see & bend things in one direction. There are always many possible outcomes of any given situation, we wont know/control them all. 

I have experienced that if you can focus on this forced choice we may have had to accept at some point and start respecting then things can take a beautiful turn. Its the denial which is the only hindrance. If something that might be a weakness from a general point of view, its not necessary that we cannot develop from there. Your weakness can become your strength or your speciality. Its the attitude that makes all the difference. Everybody in class cannot be number one but if everybody is hoping to get there then disappointment will be obvious. The learning is more important than the position. The knowledge will take you more places than the vainglory every will. If our inspiration is put in a wrong figure, a place that’s misfit for us then misery is all we can expect. We are humans and bound to do errors, circumstantial or deliberate, doesn't matter. What matters is what we can make of the aftermath. There will always be accidents and confrontations, but the direction we can take the results is what defines us and the life to come. 

I once met a man who told me that his only, grown up and working son had been shot to death, as in murdered. He desperately wanted to blame somebody but didn't know who. It had been a while, the police case was old and unsolved. He told me that he lost his faith in god which I found highly irrelevant. If God is supposedly some entity that gives and takes everything, then it was his to take what he had given. How does it help the dead to cry and seek revenge even after years. However I did tell him that his son might have made some strong enemies but he denies that saying he was always friendly with everyone. Now the question that strikes here is that do we always know a person as well as we believe, no matter how close, are we in a position to ever judge or decide. The son had a life span and it got over when it had to. Who can challenge this reality, will it be any different if the son had died in a road accident, flood, earthquake or other many such unforeseen events. 

Just imagine if there is toddler in your family and is hurt by something or is simply unwell/sick which needs medical attention. Now will it be of any help to be sad/depressed/worried about it, I have seen people even cry, or focus on the best course of help and attention you can provide. Even then results might not be as positive as you want them to be or as quick as you want them to be. You have to accept it’s not in your hands and every one cannot be healthy/well all the time. Things will always change and you have to learn to accept & respect them as they are. Only then you can be contributive, productive and conducive for any betterment. Struggle will only lead to trouble. 

Its good to define & recognise your individuality but if you want to be respected for who you are then you have to equally regard others’. We want to do things in a certain manner we find best but sometimes its good to try willingly what is expected from us or suggested just for the respect of others. There is no harm in it. There is no place for ego here. Where there is love then there will be respect & acceptance. Its worth trying at least.  

Multitude to singularity

You can only taste one dish at a time, enjoy one song at a time, cherish one scenery at a time, fully be with one person at a time. We do like many things of multitude tastes and preferences but only enjoy one at a time. Even if you try to eat your favorite food while watching your favorite television series, try to observe sharply that the moment your focus moves to the screen the taste vanishes and the moment you are engulfed in the taste in your mouth you lose the context of the display on screen. But the shuffle happens very fast for us to bother much about it. As it doesnt seem important to focus on one thing at a time. You can try to understand this with a more specific example like listening to two of your favorite songs at one time, wouldnt that be absurd! 

We might have a zillion choices of things that we like, for instance clothes, shoes, bags, food, music, places, people, etc. but at a given point we prefer only one from each category. We always seek this singularity of things around us. It brings us together, its a more wholesome experience. One can casually do any thing but what really makes it perfect is when something you like can completely bind your focus genuinely. Whichever person, thing or place can do it for longest period becomes our favorite. If it was one time or very occasionally then it forms our favorite memory. Basically even if you cant help it to happen again, you want to live it again in your mind as everything felt just right in that moment. It is why you hear often people say live in the moment or live for the moment. As there are only fragments like these which keeps everything going or seem worthwhile. 

If somebody hasnt found this singularity in a long time then meeting that one special person when everything seems to come together for you, holds the most special/important position in your life. You can experience this special moment anywhere and anyhow. Many of its triggers are common for many and unique in other cases. You might have most things going but then eventually it starts getting mundane or monotonous, then going for a holiday to a new place or somewhere you havent been in a long time, gives you the solitude or singularity of your mind. 

Its our inherent nature to be at one place at a time and do one thing at a time, though external factors often take it away from us and life becomes a drag before you know it. In most cases mental fatigue seeps in faster than you know. Our being/existence seems spread over in so many places that getting to collect ourselves or to feel wholesome again becomes an ordeal to achieve. We are in this struggle always whether we know it or not or accept it or not.

You are going about your everyday life and a random long drive with a close friend/relative gives a relief, trying a new restaurant and new food can do it for some, a long waited concert / show can bring it for some. You cant really predict in advance when or what exactly will give you this moment of singularity next time. But we crave for it and live for it everyday waiting subconsciously. 

There is another very easy to comprehend example for this phenomenon, love at first sight or your first crush. The glee you felt or the constant grin which everyone questioned but you couldnt explain. There comes  sudden joy in everything you see or do. Many/most of us have experienced at least one such phase in our lives. 

Now comes the part we do not realize even after going through all this for decades. We like or love multitude of things but its the singularity that gets us thriving. The source of this singularity is always dependent outside on some external factor. As long as you are healthy, capable or well off to afford, its not an issue but things are not always easy or accessible for every common man. We start to age so rapidly without even realizing what/when/how it happened. As inevitably things change or dont last, we dont get the same joy/fun doing the same things, our taste & preferences change. We cant hold onto things in their same form forever. Everything has to vanish eventually, its the beauty of the end.

There is corner in our heart which is unexplored by our conscious mind, untouched by anything or anybody. Its resemblance or glimpse has been experienced by us through many instances or factors, but its identity is still a mystery just like its existence. But the first and foremost thing is acknowledging that its their even as a belief. As nothing is more reliable in this world than you to yourself. You will always be there for you come what may, wherever you are and in whatever condition. In the beginning its like diving into the ocean of your mind looking for this one small pearl, you dont know how deep its lying and in which corner. Though believe me it shines so bright that even from a long distance you start experiencing its glimmer which is your only hope. Suddenly you will know to have this lamp which might not shine fully the whole dark forest but at least the space two feet around you. This is enough to start walking as the more you move, the more light shines with you to clear your surrounding in this journey within. Once you reach there you will never have to look elsewhere to feel alive, wholesome and satisfied. You will be truely liberated, free, fearless and independent.

This kind of voyage is undertaken by very few adventurous people who strive to increase their moment of singularity after having identified it through one’s own life’s experiences. You can spend many many years in the multitude of things and there will still be zillion things left to explore or discover but to what ends.