River Flow

Here is the beginning of my post.
When I left the mountains I didn’t know my purpose or direction. I was just flowing with my apprehensions and keen to discover everything that comes my way. There were many who came to my shores with a contended look and serenity. Some came seeking an adventure. They either just lay there, walked around and left. Those who seemed interested in me actually joined me for a while and when I was just starting to get overwhelmed with the tryst, they had made their way across. Nobody seemed to be wanting to flow with me for long. They made their way and left. It was joy for some and struggle for others. But I was always the same, the constant. I was judged by my surface which was quiet at times and zealous at certain turns. I am glad some went deep inside me but they didn’t stay, just left their memories. I always longed for someone to flow with me forever but none dared. I supported any attempt for a dam and thought I will give me best. It turned out that it was not out of love but to harness the best from me. 


I was still glad with everything. At least I was accepted for how I was and appreciated however even though only for a while. The deep lust for life & love in me beckoned for someone to join me. I desperate invited everyone to stay with me. I was hated for the flood and condemned. I was expected to stay in certain limits and confine my emotions to my self. 

My creator was merciful and I think being concerned from my woes, he sent some tributaries my way. I was overjoyed and my joy knew no bounds. The flow in me had new zeal and vigor. I felt strengthened and considered it divine intervention. Now I didn’t mind anybody coming to me with ulterior motives and not out of affection. I served everyone and love everyone. I was taken for granted and lot of sewerage channels were sent my way. I felt choked, restless and uneasy by this harsh gesture. I was ready to deal and accept it as well but soon there was the last straw on my back which collapsed me. The tributaries I thought were mine forever and had soon found separated directions to flow. They blamed them on nature and others to have created such partitions. I felt betrayed and couldn’t digest such infidelity. After all if it was not for them, I might ve dried up long back.

I started rotting and beauty had decayed out of my flow. There was an ugly stillness in my existence. I cried and howled but nobody heard. Those who used to come to my shore with superficial love had also vanished. Nobody seem interested in me even for a moment and nobody even wanted to fake it for my sake. Once again my quest to know the purpose of my existence began to surface in my heart. I sought eternal love and the anguish burnt deep and the turbulence constantly increased.  

Suddenly I heard roaring of clouds above my head as if from god itself. Then it rained heavily. Gallons of fresh water rejuvenated the vitality in me. Though it had poured plenty of times in my life but I never paid special attention to it. I never realized that its actually the water from skies which keeps me alive and moving. It never lets me dry completely and provides a new flow to my existence. This time the rains had a clear implication. They told me about the ocean which awaits for me since forever. It holds infinite affection, peace and bliss for me. My true purpose is it to become one with it. It is the ocean which had been sending rains to keep me going on. I didn’t know if it actually existed as I have never seen the ocean but it made sense. Otherwise who has the capacity to create such rains and selflessly take care of my existence. It has been doing this for so long without any expectations or demand. It is driven by pure love which we all seek.

Now I let others do whatever they intend and irrespective of any ups and downs, try to remain focused on my goal to become one with my ocean.